Naughty or Nice?
by ShenLong1
Summary: Everyone is assigned a job for the office Christmas party and Heero has to arrange the entertainment. (Written for Akira's 2013 Gundam Wing Advent Calendar on LJ)


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the boys, they belong to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties; I just borrow them from time to time and return them a whole lot happier. Written for pleasure, not profit.

Warnings: AU, humor, romance, hints of citrus

Rating: R

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6x5

Archive: gundam-wing-diaries. foreverfandom .net and gundam-wng-diaries. 150m. com

Betaed by Karina *snugs*

Summary: Everyone is assigned a job for the office Christmas party and Heero has to arrange the entertainment.

Written for the 2013 Gundam Wing Advent Calendar

November 2013 – ShenLong

* * *

**"Naughty or Nice?"**

"That brings us to the last item on the agenda: this years staff Christmas party," the blonde CEO of Winner-Barton Technologies said with a smile to his gathered employees.

Several quiet groans, a couple of giggles and one snort greeted the announcement.

"Good to see you are all excited," Quatre sarcastically stated. "Now, we need a few people to help out with the organizing." Quatre turned to his partner and the managing director of the company. "Trowa, I believe you have a list of things we need people to arrange?"

Trowa stopped doodling on his notepad and shuffled through the folder he'd brought with him. Locating the paper he wanted, he handed it over to the blonde.

"Thank you. Right, we need someone to organize the food."

"We can do that," Hilde said and elbowed her friend Catherine.

"We can?" Catherine muttered.

"Yes," Hilde hissed, "Or would you rather be in charge of decorations?"

"We will arrange the catering," Catherine stated firmly.

"Right, that's the food side taken care of."

"Wufei and I will take care of the drinks side of things," Zechs offered.

"You just want to sample all the various alcoholic beverages before purchasing," Wufei growled to the blonde programmer who also happened to be his partner.

"One of the perks," Zechs shot back with a grin.

"Alcoholic," Wufei sniffed.

"Ah, but you like it,"

Before Wufei could sputter something in retaliation, Quatre cut back in. "Zechs and Wufei will arrange the drinks. Now, decorations..."

"Oh, me, I'll do all that," Relena volunteered.

Zechs groaned, Hilde smirked and Catherine looked relieved.

"Relena for the decorations. I think we still have several boxes of decorations you can use somewhere in the storeroom," Quatre stated.

"I'll check it out tomorrow," Relena replied and beamed. "I'll make the conference room like a winter wonderland. You'll all think you're at the North Pole."

"Just so long as the temperature isn't the same as that of the North Pole," Sally muttered.

"Did you just volunteer to arrange the secret Santa gifts?" Quatre asked, looking directly at the woman and fully aware of what she'd actually said.

"Ummm... I suppose so," Sally said with a roll of her eyes.

"Good." Quatre added her name to the rapidly filling list of jobs. "That seems to be everything – oh, wait, I forgot the entertainment. Heero?"

Heero looked up from where he'd been quietly sitting, attempting to become one with the furniture. "No."

"Heero, everyone has to help out with the arranging and running of the Christmas party, you know that."

"No."

"All that's left is the entertainment. It's not that hard to arrange."

"No."

"There are several companies out there that specialize in entertainment for this sort of thing, all you need to do is make a few phone calls and book someone to play disc jockey, sing or the like for a couple of hours."

"No."

"We're not all that fussy regarding the entertainment..."

"No."

"Everyone that helps out gets a good Christmas bonus."

"Okay."

"Great." Quatre added Heero's name to the list. "That's everything, thank you everyone. You are all aware of the deadlines for getting everything arranged?"

Several nods and a grunt.

"Good. I will leave everything in your capable hands then. Meeting adjourned." Quatre picked up his folder and smiled to his partner before exiting. The remainder of the employees all began to filter out and head back to their respective offices to continue with their work.

# # #

Sitting down at his work station, Heero contemplated the task he'd been set. The office Christmas party was only two weeks away and he had to arrange the entertainment. Fine. Surely it couldn't be that hard to do? Just pick up the phone and call a couple of places, book whatever it was they had and that was it.

Easy.

An hour later Heero was glaring at the phone in his hand and wishing he had a gun so he could shoot the damn thing. Glancing at the list on his desk, he ran another red line through the name of a company. So far, the number of crossed out companies, outnumbered the still yet to call ones by ten to one. Everyone it seemed had the same idea and as he'd been politely told by several companies, they'd been booked out several months previous. One even had the audacity to laugh down the line when he told them the reason for his call and had wished him good luck before hanging up.

With two names left on the list, Heero thought he might as well go for broke. If he managed to get something then all well and good; if not...

He wondered if there were any other companies looking for good computer techs right now.

Seconds later he was again hanging up the phone in frustration. Looking at the last of the numbers on his list, Heero pondered the futility of making a call. With a shrug, he decided to try it. The phone was answered after a couple of rings – and hung up again after two sentences. Heero began to thump his head on the desk.

"Heero? You okay?"

Heero paused long enough between thumps to take in the person speaking. It was Hilde. "I can't get any entertainment for the office party. Everywhere is booked out." He returned to panel beating the desk with his head.

Taking pity on her fellow worker, Hilde walked across to stand by Heero's side. "Look, I have a friend who works at a local club, if you want I can ask him if he can come along and fill the entertainment side of things?"

Turning his head, Heero stared at the woman. "You think he would?"

"I'm sure he will, if he's not working that is. Although the office party is in the afternoon and he usually works the nights so I'm sure he would do it. I'll give him a call when I get home and ask him. I can let you know tomorrow."

Pushing his chair back, Heero jumped to his feet and embraced the woman. "Thank you, Hilde."

"Ah, that's okay, Heero," Hilde replied a little awkwardly, her eyes having the classic 'deer in the headlights' look. "Errr, I'd better get back to work now."

"Aa, right." Heero released her and sat back down to resume his work, his shoulders feeling rather lighter now that his problem appeared to be solved.

#

True to her word, Hilde called her friend and spoke with him regarding the entertainment at the office party and much to her delight, he agreed to do it, although he said he might be a little late as he had to check on a couple of things at the club first. Hilde passed the information on to Heero who didn't give a shit if the guy was going to be half an hour late or not; he was coming, that meant Heero had filled his part in the arrangements and that's all that mattered to him.

# # #

"Relena, I have to say you have done a fantastic job with the decorations," Quatre praised.

"It was nothing," Relena replied with a blush. The conference room had been transformed into a winter wonderland as promised. Silver and white were the predominant colors with an odd splash of blue, green and red here and there. Snowflakes and icicles hung from the ceiling, large volumes of cotton wool lay around simulating snow along with a couple of snowmen. Silver and white glitter was scattered in abundance, fake trees with simulated 'snow' on their boughs stood to one side and a small sleigh with reindeer and a jolly Santa standing beside a decorated Christmas tree completed the picture.

The caterers that Hilde and Catherine had booked were checking on the buffet table, replenishing various dishes as they became depleted. To the side of the buffet table sat the bar – a well stocked bar. Zechs had procured half a dozen different wines, three different beers, a limited amount of spirits (due to Wufei placing the order after Zechs had gotten so shit faced with sampling the many beverages that he could barely stand up let alone decide what drinks to purchase ) and sodas for those that either didn't wish to drink or wanted a mixer with their alcohol of choice.

Under the Christmas tree sat several presents, each with a different name on them and ranging in size from very small to one that looked to be around three feet square.

"Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves."

Quatre turned as the voice beside him spoke and he looked up into the one, visible emerald eye of his partner in every sense of the word. "Yes, they do," he replied and took the offered drink.

"Here." Trowa handed over a small plate of food. "Try the meatballs, they're delicious."

"Thank you." Setting his glass down on a convenient table top, Quatre took the plate of food and began to sample the various morsels Trowa had brought him.

"Any idea what Heero has arranged for the entertainment?"

Swallowing, Quatre wiped his mouth on a paper napkin before replying. "No, no I don't." He gave his partner an innocent look.

"I hope it's more than just this background music." Trowa completely missed the innocent look, had he noticed, he would have been a little more wary.

"He did say something about the entertainment would be a little late."

"Not too late, I hope," Trowa replied with a mischievous look in his eye. Placing an arm around Quatre's shoulders he leaned into the blonde and whispered softly into his ear. "I want to take you home and give you your real Christmas present." Adding a gentle roll of his hips against Quatre's side, he made it perfectly clear exactly what that present would be.

Quatre shivered and moaned low in his throat. "Trowa, stop teasing and behave yourself. What if the staff should see?"

"I don't care. They already know we're lovers." Trowa nibbled on the lobe of the blonde's ear.

"I know they do, but it's still not fair to carry on like this when any of them could see; especially Heero."

"That's not my problem. Heero really needs to get laid." Trowa continued to nibble.

"I happen to agree with you, but you need a partner for that and I've never seen Heero with anyone or even heard him talk about having a partner. Ah, that's nice. Mmmm... "

"I think it would be a lot easier for him if he were to admit to himself that he's gay." Trowa moved a little to the side, pulling the blonde with him. "Oh, look, we're standing under the mistletoe. Guess that means I get to kiss you."

Quatre's reply of 'With any luck by the time the party is over Heero _will_ know he's gay,' didn't get past his throat as his lips were hijacked by his lover.

#

"Hilde, where is he?" Heero hissed to his co-worker. They were now into the second hour of the office party and Hilde's friend had yet to show up.

"Heero, calm down. I'm sure he will be here any second. Look, I'll see if I can call him on his cell." Hilde fished her phone out and called. Moments later she slipped the phone back into her pocket. "He's just arrived. Come on, we'll go meet him and show him where he can change."

"Change?" Heero asked as he followed Hilde out of the conference room, down the hall and into the elevator.

"You didn't expect him to wear his outfit for the drive over, did you?" Heero just snorted. Moments later the elevator arrived in the basement car park, the doors opening to reveal a young man waiting on the other side.

The first thought that went through Heero's mind was; _He looks too young to be an entertainer. _The second thought was; _He's drop dead gorgeous! _

"Duo!" Hilde squealed and charged through the doors to envelop the man in a hug.

"Hilde," the guy replied, hugging back.

"Duo, this is Heero, a fellow programmer and the guy who is responsible for arranging the entertainment. Heero, this is my friend Duo who said he'd do the gig for you today," Hilde introduced when they separated.

"Hi," Duo said and held out his hand. "I'm so sorry I'm late, traffic was a bitch."

Shaking the offered hand, Heero couldn't help the small shiver that ran down his spine. "Hn. Better late than never," he replied. "Come on, we'd better hurry up, you should have been here half an hour ago." Heero turned and stepped back into the elevator. Duo pulled a face behind Heero's back as he followed him.

"Friendly, ain't he?" Duo whispered to Hilde who snickered.

"Just what is it you do?" Heero asked as they rode the car back to the floor where the party was taking place.

"I sing and I dance," Duo replied with a smirk. Clearly he wasn't about to elaborate any further.

"Aa. Fine." Silence reigned for the rest of the ride to their floor. Once the doors opened again, Heero, along with Hilde, showed Duo to a small office off to the side of the main conference room where the party was that he could use to get himself ready in. "How long until you're ready to perform?" Heero asked as Duo set his bag down on one of the chairs.

"That eager, huh?" Seeing the man about to speak, Duo quickly carried on, "Just gimme about ten minutes to change and prepare. Oh, Hilde told me you have a music system here?" Heero nodded. "Great." He handed over a USB stick. "Would you mind slotting that into it and get someone to push play when I tell you to? It's all cued to go so you don't have to do anything else with it. I've also got my headset with me and if you could give me the wireless password I'll tap into it. Much easier than a mic."

"Is that all? You sure you wouldn't like a cup of tea? Five piece band or something?" Heero replied sarcastically.

"Nah, I'll pass on the tea, much prefer a screaming orgasm or a cock sucking cowboy if you have it?" Duo quipped.

Heero's head whipped around, the blood rushing to his cheeks. Realizing he was being teased, he gave a roll of his eyes, spun on his heel and left, leaving a snickering Duo and equally amused Hilde behind.

Once Heero had left, Duo flopped into a chair and moaned. "God, Hilde. What have you set me up for? He's a walking wet dream! Shame about the attitude though."

Hilde snickered. "I told you he was hot; and believe it or not, underneath that prickly exterior he's quite a nice guy."

"Guess I'll have to take your word for it. You sure he's gay?"

"Pretty sure." When Duo raised an eyebrow in question, Hilde hastily continued, "He's never shown any interest in any of the women here at work, or any other female that I know of. I have caught him watching Quatre and Trowa a few times and he gets this sort of wistful look on his face. Besides, Quatre seems convinced he's gay and all he needs is a push in the right direction with the right guy."

"Well, I hope you're right, otherwise it's going to be an uncomfortable show."

"Put it this way, Duo, if he isn't interested in you then he's got to be asexual."

Duo snorted. "We'll see."

Ten minutes later, Hilde gave Heero the nod that Duo was ready. The stoic man made an announcement to the rest of the staff that the entertainment was about to begin so they should all take a seat. Once everyone was seated, he cued the stick and took his own seat. Hilde dimmed the lights a little and scrambled to the only remaining seat as the music began to play. The soft sounds of a familiar Christmas carol filtered through the room and moments later a voice began to sing the lyrics. Duo stepped out of the adjoining room and Heero did a double take.

The entertainer wore what could only be described as an elf outfit. A green cap complete with bell sat jauntily on the head. A green, velvet jacket with wide brown belt adorned Duo's torso. His legs were encased in red and white, candy striped pants – tight fitting pants too Heero might add - and the entire outfit was finished off with a pair of pointed shoes, also with bells on. Heero hastily reminded himself not to drool.

Duo's rich tenor filled the conference room as he sang the words to the carol, 'Jingle Bells'. His lithe body danced around in rhythm and he made sure to jingle the bells on his cap and shoes as much as possible. Everyone began to join in with the carol, everyone but Heero that was. He was sitting with his mouth open, mind desperately trying to process what the hell was going on here. This wasn't quite what he'd imagined the entertainment would be. A quick glance around though reassured him a little bit that everyone else seemed to be enjoying the elf's antics. As he sang, Duo still danced, only now he was moving amongst the people, sitting on a vacant lap here, running fingers through someone's hair there, caressing a cheek, running teasing hands over shoulders and generally flirting with everyone in the room – male and female alike. Several more carols followed, Duo still dancing away and flirting with the audience.

The current carol finished and Duo took a quick bow to the applause before the next carol started. "And now for the grand finale," he announced huskily and turned his back to the audience. _Let the fun begin_, Duo thought to himself. The strains of the carol 'Santa Claus is Coming To Town' began to play and Duo started to sing along.

"You better watch out, You better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why..." Duo sang and began to sway his hips in a seductive manner. "Santa Claus is coming to town..." Duo began to twirl with the beat of the music, hips thrusting in a suggestive manner.

The audience were all silent.

As he continued to sing and dance, Duo also began a slow strip tease. "He's making a list, he's checking it twice..." The boots were the first to go, pulled off by the toes and deposited to the side of the makeshift stage. "He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice..." Duo's voice became a seductive purr, a hand drifting to his torso, removing the belt and flipping the buttons of the jacket open.

"Is he doing what I think he's doing?" Trowa hissed in Quatre's ear.

"I hope so," Quatre hissed back.

"What!?"

"Trowa, shut up and watch."

Seeing the glint in his blonde partner's eye, Trowa had the sudden feeling that Quatre had something to do with this, but what exactly the motive was, he was still trying to figure out.

Meanwhile, Duo had undone all of the jacket buttons and had the item slipped off his shoulders where it caught at his elbows. He continued to dance, tossing the jacket to the side and running his hands up and down his well toned chest and abdomen. All the women were spellbound, their eyes glued to the half naked elf. The men weren't much better, either admiring the man's physique or jealous that their own wasn't as well toned. Heero though...

Heero was struck dumb by the entire display. A stripper... That's all that Duo was, a stripper?! A very fine one with a gorgeous body certainly, but still a stripper. And he was responsible for having booked Duo for the entertainment. Heero was mortified. He knew for sure now that he would be getting his marching orders.

"He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake," Duo sang, running a finger down his chest to stop at the waistband of his candy striped pants. He gave a cheeky grin.

Glancing around to find out exactly where his boss was sitting so he could apologize, grovel a bit and do some serious ass kissing, Heero's eyes screeched to a halt and opened wide. Quatre was, for want of a better word; mesmerized. Heero blinked, then blinked again. If he didn't know any better he'd say his boss was more than enjoying the show. Several cheers, a couple of whistles and one hoot, drew Heero's attention back to Duo who was now toying with his pants. When he distinctly heard Quatre yell out; "Take them off!" he was sure he'd just landed in the middle of the 'Twilight Zone'.

Duo waggled a finger at the audience and turned around where he began to shimmy out of his pants. With the pants gone, he snapped the tie from his hair and let the locks cascade around him. All Heero got to see was a sliver of buttock skin before it disappeared behind that curtain of hair. _Damn!_

Continuing to sing, Duo kept his back to the audience for a little longer, swaying his hips in time to the music. Mind made up, he spun around and began to move his body, dancing his way through the audience. Heero nearly choked as his eyes perused the lithe form. All muscle with a slight sheen of sweat, the man simply oozed sex appeal. Despite his best attempts to not look lower than Duo's waist, Heero's eyes developed a life of their own and shot straight down to those tantalizing hips. Aside from his hair and elf hat, the only other thing Duo wore was a red satin thong with white fur trim – and even that barely covered his modesty.

Suddenly it registered in Heero's brain that the elf was coming directly at him. He swallowed, eyes darting around to look for a way of escape.

He didn't stand a chance.

Next thing he knew, the elf was straddling his thighs, crooning into his ear and giving him his first ever lap dance.

The cheers, whistles and cat calls all disappeared into the background, all that remained was Duo's hot body, dexterous fingers, heady musk scent and husky voice in his ear. Duo wiggled and squirmed his way around Heero's lap, pressing his backside against a groin that was beginning to respond very nicely. Turning around, Duo ground his pelvis against Heero, whispering in his ear, "He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice..."

Groaning softly, Heero tried not to push his own hips back up against those teasing ones. Clever fingers ran through his hair, caressed his cheek and ran fleetingly across his lips. A voice whispered in his ear.

"Tell me, Heero. Do you want to be naughty or nice?"

"Aa..." Heero wrapped his own arms around that slim waist and pushed his groin up, eliciting a hiss from the stripper. "I'm done with being nice, I want to be naughty," he growled.

"Good, I'm feeling a little naughty myself." Duo licked along Heero's ear before grinding his own excitement hard against Heero's.

With the music drawing to its close, Duo whispered something in Heero's ear then reluctantly got up off Heero's lap and danced his way back through the people to the makeshift stage. He brought the song to its end and took a bow, pleased with the amount of applause, cheers and whistles he got. Blowing a kiss to the crowd, he grabbed his discarded clothing and disappeared back into the small office.

"Well, that was something. I never thought I'd see the day when Heero booked a stripper for the office Christmas party," Trowa muttered.

"Well, he didn't really know," Quatre replied, fanning himself.

"You had something to do with all of this, didn't you?" Trowa accused.

"I can't help it if all the entertainment places are completely booked out and Hilde just happens to have a friend that's available." Quatre smiled. Before Trowa could question him further though, the blonde stood up. "I think I should find Heero and congratulate him on his choice of entertainment."

Several of the other employees also had the same idea, everyone agreeing that the entertainment Heero had booked had been by far the best ever, but no one could find the dark haired man to congratulate him. Come to think of it, Duo had also disappeared.

# # #

Back at Heero's apartment, an elf hat sat atop the bed post, the small bell jingling.

"Oh yeah, Heero, you have been naughty."

"Quiet, elf. Santa's not the only one who's coming..."

~ Owari ~

Merry Christmas!


End file.
